What are you waiting for? What do you have to lose? What do you need to make it happen?
"Irving family’s fortunate son explains how he fell into a dark depression, and rose again.
He was the scion of New Brunswick’s wealthiest family, a seemingly successful executive working with his father to oversee their dynasty. Below the surface, things were different.Erin Anderssen talks to Kenneth Irving about his descent into darkness, and what he lost and gained along the way."
This blog post is not just going to repeat what information Anderssen achieved, but I hope to be one of many who has taken this piece into serious account for the truth that it is, from a male perspective, who has every access to health care opportunities they could ever need, even, understand it and learn a lesson and maybe teach a lesson. I also want to share the lessons I was given insight to, or reintroduced to. The bolded areas I would suggest paying extra attention to as those are my main talking points and what I can identify with to accurately explain my understanding. And hopefully the readers will understand a bit deeper too!
"C. Irving was well known for being frugal and a teetotaler, characteristics that he impressed upon his three sons, J.K., Arthur and Jack, who would each focus on their own fiefdoms in the empire. It was a formal family, one in which emotional indifference was viewed as a strength, handshakes stood in for hugs, and deference to elders was expected. Problems, business and personal, if they were discussed at all, stayed inside the Irving fold"
Kenneth was well-respected, seen as a modernizing, innovative force within the family’s third generation, an Irving with a worldly gaze and big plans to expand and diversify the energy business. But in the wake of his leaving Saint John, there were also whispers that challenged that narrative. Whispers that Arthur Irving, reluctant to fully cede power, had been unhappy with the business direction that Kenneth was taking, and fired his son. That there had been a fight over money. That the stress of the job – and all that went with it – had caused Kenneth to suffer a mental breakdown. But those are pieces of the tale, patched together from fragments of truth to quilt a tidy narrative."
There is a much darker version of these events, one Kenneth Irving has never told before. He is offering it now, in part, as a cautionary tale about waiting too long to seek help for a mental illness. You may wonder about that: What can a man as rich as Kenneth Irving say to those who have to wait in line for care, who can’t afford a full-time psychologist, who have lost their jobs because they were too sick to keep them, and don’t have a trust fund? To his credit, he is quick to acknowledge this: He’s not, he says, looking for pity.
What he seeks is understanding. He hopes that someone will see past the shiny objects that come with being born into the one per cent of the one per cent – the boarding school education, the private jet, the sprawling estate – and find a lesson in his story."
This is typical of families who have "status" of one kind or another, 'emotional indifference.' In my opinion, they do not want the public thinking they have a weak family life, they have personally made an error (how inhumane of them) or maybe one of their kids isn't living up to their billion dollar estate that was built generations before (like Irving). As I always say from a good women's study course/lesson, this type of thinking reminds me of the 1960s' when the ideology took the form of," The Personal is Political," or private is political. Stuff it in, you're strong. "Were you in Nam?" No, but my head can certainly feel like a war field. Not so much anymore, but thats a whole other story. My story.
Anyways,
Growing up in Oakville, there was rarely a friend I would meet whose parents didn't have some sort of fancy job or practice; doctors, lawyers, entrepreneurs of all kinds, real estate legends, you name it I was swimming in it. I was stuck in this bubble and it was all that "made sense to me," though I knew I didn't want to be that person who lived for their work and missed out on actual, living, breathing moments.
My dad being a business owner himself would drive me around with him on weekends and introduce me to all these important people. It was tremendous for my communication skills for today and my ability to meet people or walk up to them with little to no hesitation (unless its bad energy). So, safe to say I was and am not shy of how the lifestyles of men who own businesses work. My father is 63 and still travels to England or the Yukon weekly. Sometimes he hits Vancouver (for the night) but I love my dad and I love that he is so passionate about his career/empire. He is an amazing human and has brought life to myself and my brothers in so many ways. 3 years ago I was not saying that, but I've totally accepted his path, as he is accepting mine.
I learned a lot of good from my pops, like shaking hands and eye contact, using my fork and knife at the dinner table. I'll never forget the remark made during my time in November at Grail Springs and I shook this gentleman's hand and he responded with "you must be in business with a handshake like that, what do you do?" I was so proud to tell him I wasn't in business, but rather I was a public speaker and a mental health advocate/who is now part of a wicked team called SickNotWeak where I get to advocate more and more with likeminded individuals!
My dad wanted me to go into business but because I do have a natural ability to sell things. I have his genes hands down and he always saw that ability in me. But I knew from a young age that offices and money/math/counting was not my jam. Not as hardcore as he does it anyhow. I am grateful for the journey I am on now, as it looks nothing like it did even 2 years ago. It's stories such as these that bring that remind me how important it is to live your authentic truth, listen to what your heart and soul says. What you love! Otherwise humanity may as well pack it in because we wont find happiness.
"“The stress was tremendous,” says one source, referring to the difficult months in 2009 and 2010. “He’s running this huge, complex business, and he is being attacked by his family on every single issue. Like, even though we were performing well, we should have tripled the business. Nothing was ever good enough.”
What if not breaking down every day was good enough? What if having the ability to wake up and not want to smash your face in but rather feel a moment of joy was good enough? What if feeling was better than doing all the time? Some days I can be hard on myself and say I'm not doing enough because "no one works harder than" my dad, but my depression isn't eating at me and telling me to take my life because there's no hope. I feel joy, sadness, anger, happiness, excitement and live by enthusiasm because I took a risk on myself and my mental health (somewhat calculated). But chiefly I feel gratitude and possibility. Even when I hear comments about people saying stuff like "Colleen is so self obsessed, all she does is post about herself and what she thinks because she doesn't drink...." (this recently happened and I laugh) Well ya. I share because, similar to Irving, I want to spread and share a lesson and I hope people understand, but those who don't will make remarks like the above.
Plus, I wouldn't say self obsessed so much as limited in my case studies. I can't speak for other peoples experiences because they are not my own. I also think we grew up in a culture surrounded by drinking and we used that as a coping method so now what are we left with? Some seek therapy, but many would rather just have a drink. It doesn't work like that because it will come out and bite you in the ass like it did Irving. If you or someone you knows is struggling, please do not wait any longer. I found hope when I thought I couldn't and thats through my holistic healing, energy work and I promise you once that catches on with the rest of society (we're getting there) it will be a LIFE GAME CHANGER. But you gotta believe it.
Money is necessary. But money and success does not guarantee you a happy and successful life. The demands can be so painful you completely lose yourself or your loved ones, yet we keep throwing ourselves into these work situations that do 0 for us except provide financial security; which ultimately does what at the end of the day if you're the only one who is really hard pressed about it. You'll likely push your family members and friends away if its not a healthy balance or you're not talking about it thinking you're all and mighty. Sorry bro, vulnerability is the new strength. Yes, Irving loved what he did but it was built through intense and powerful patriarchy. Oh and the money/ pressure was pretty high too one might argue. I love how real he gets in trying to get people to understand that vulnerability of the mind and immense sadness, fear can hurt and eventually kill.
SO, parents, kids, adults, LISTEN TO WHAT YOU WANT. WHAT YOUR HEART RACES FOR. The world does not need more successful people so much as it needs healers, teachers and peacemakers. Look at our world right now! We are repeating history and the moment I found that Trump was in the election I said that. Not thinking it would happen, but here we are. With that said, there are a lot of reputable sources that quote Trump or in general talk about his new policies, its almost concerning how familiar it is to what I read in my history books, especially about Nationalist Socialist parties.
I do not think war, fight, or cruelty will further develop our countries in any way. Similar to the way I felt about my program, we are adding to the problem so to speak. I respect, commend and side with all those who have stuck their necks out within recent weeks. Thats how change happens. What is unsettling is the way we are sometimes expressing that message, we're spreading more negative and disturbing energies. Trudeau is killing it with kindness. Air BNB is killing it with kindness. And a lot more people are just open to being decent human beings, after all, we all have that in common. They are taking the opposite approach, kind of like how I diverted from my program so I could learn alternative methodologies and act as a kind disruptor in the world of mental health and awareness. Open the doors that have been shut on us so many times, warrior through using our passion because that flame rarely burns out. That reminds me of how, sometimes, not so wonderful things need to happen and fall apart so good things can fall together. So maybe this had to happen for better things to arise? I guess we'll see. JUST HAVE SOME HOPE WILL YOU?
Its the key ingredient to anyones story, hope and love.
What are you waiting for? What do you have to lose? What do you need to make it happen?
nothing. nothing so long as you believe and love yourself. inspiration, your authentic self and maybe a blog.
"Kenneth wants this to be his story, and his alone. He sees the telling of it, this baring of his soul, as an act of independence, a way to heal, to be seen as an individual, and, he hopes, to help others. “I don’t want to antagonize anybody,” he says. “That people believe that I am sincere, that I don’t have an ulterior motive, is incredibly important.”
Once in Saint John, single and living alone, the dread grew stronger. “It was really rolling,” he says. “I was just getting up at night, feeling total despair, and not knowing who to talk to.” His fragile psychological state manifested as an irrational fear that he was physically sick – that he was dying, that maybe he had cancer, or even AIDS. Finally he saw a psychiatrist, who prescribed medication, which he took for a while, though it made his legs shake, his mouth dry, and working difficult. Looking back, he describes this time in his life, struggling to heal mostly on his own, as his “first real experience with loneliness.”
When people look at me like "girl you need to slow down," as I talk my holistic healing jargon I understand that it is a lot to take in. But I cannot emphasize how much it has changed my life and given me so much more to be happy and fulfilled by. I have been given this incredible opportunity to turn my life around in every aspect and more importantly I have the tools to heal myself now. THIS DOESNT MEAN I CAN SAY GOODBYE TO EVERYTHING ELSE. But it means I don't run out of hope, I am forever growing and learning more about myself and the world around me. I am not alone so long as I stick to my values and beliefs, but most importantly my intuitive feelings and psychic experiences. I am not ashamed at all anymore because I've experienced too much to deny this gift. It's cool if others laugh or don't understand, it just means you don't ride the journey with me. Same for anyone else/s non believers.
You cannot survive in this world simply understanding surface knowledge of yourself, others and how this world came to be. I think about myself less and ask more questions, but yes my own social media will feature myself. Not sorry. I cannot change the world but like Irving I can influence it. Don't wait for your life to get better. "Find God but leave the dogma" I was told once good orderly direction. My name means gift of god, I reversed it to gift of dog haha! I love my dogs
"Don't try and change the world. Find something you love and do it ever day. do that for the rest of your life and eventually the world gonna' change" Macklemore
Thank god for Energy work and listening to my gut!
Who am I if I'm the person you've become? LOVE GROWING UP BY THESE GUYS!
HAVE A GOOD DAY LOVES!
DOROTHY XOX
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