Picture a glass vase that is worth as much as your life or one you love, with all it's beauty, its design that creates a ripple effect that can be identified with the curves of a human body that we always try and get rid of; embrace your body.
Something happens. It falls over and parts of it shatter. Yet, the bottom half is still together so it's just a matter of putting together the broken pieces with a little TLC.
Time goes by and the glass vase is still as beautiful, even with its cracks and prescribed tape. It's important to remind the vase that it's nothing to worry about everything can be "fixed."
Till it falls again due to some uncontrollable force. We are not always the masters of our own demise...
Now we've got the bottom and top to put back together but we're not giving up, we keep on fixing the vase because we don't want it thinking we don't care.
Years ago by and the vase realizes that maybe those bombs weren't meant to drop and affect them in such a way; to break apart their pieces and in all its beauty and cracks it can't help but question why? And more importantly why didn't I do something to help myself?
MAYBE! Because no one told you, YOU CAN. Maybe you weren't given the proper tools to help put yourself back together and you're sitting there like this is bullish!t. I'm right here. You can't not miss me, look at how the sun shines through me despite my cracks and breaks.
You can't be fixed but you can be treated with compassion and understanding. You can extend extra care, be gentle.
Because when those bombs keep on dropping you're going to feel completely out of control. Like every part of you has shattered and how do we keep doing this? How much longer can we sustain the breaking? It pulls and pulls and we are on our knees crying, begging to see some sort of magical genie or kid notice because they actually do...
It's like our hearts get torn by overexposure and yet what do we expose? Not the truth. Not the majority anyways.
That sounds negative but its my personal experience that I've dealt with the most deceitful people. And the WORST part is they refuse to take responsibility and if you're sober- frigg- I'm out on 99 adventures a day STILL to forget the father of my child doesn't give 2 flying tucks about what happened to me or what could have been the rest of their life. I saved his life and I get nothing. BUT IVE ACCEPTED THIS, though it sounds like I haven't, the truth is I'll always be pissed so long as he thinks it's ok to ignore a major, traumatic life event. Sorry.
I'm in control of my happiness and I've let people walk all over me!
To the guy who claims "I don't owe you a fucking thing," maybe not but after you treated me like absolute dirt, literally like a piece of meat (at 25, I let it happen) I'm praying for you. You're sick and I'm not talking mentally, though I wouldn't be surprised, but you've got blood cancer. You'd think you'd want to make yourself worth fighting for, though you were in the hospital this week for 2 days and have a cast on your wee wee. Karma. And maybe you need to start being kinder to yourself before you invite anyone else in.
While Dorothy seems angry, rest assured this Friday morning was a very necessary vent session. On my blog.
I love love and companionship and when I find it, I don't want to let go but that's what has been my downfall. Loving the wrong people or not having control over the people who are supposed to love me unconditionally.
The other day I was told to text shorter messages. Sorry, but when one is currently in another country and you're trying to get to know them, you ask questions. Curiosity never killed the cat, but long messages do. NO THANKS!
Go find a "boring" girl who doesn't want to speak is what I say to that or who will listen to your demands cause this Scorpio won't.
I can stand by your side but I won't save you. I can only save myself, I'm in control of my life, happiness, creation and manifestation. I can help supply tools but you have to work them.
Pick the pieces up and put them back together. Day by day, minute by minute.
Ladies.
Gentlemen.
Girls and boys...
Know your power.
Know your worth.
Know that you deserve kindness, respect, understanding and compassion.
Know that you are no less than the any other human on this planet. We are all given the same doors, it's up to us to decide which ones we walk through and which ones we close the doors on.
I'm grateful for my sobriety this morning, as I look down at my new tattoo and thank my saving grace. I'm house sitting and countless times I have opened this fridge and I forget I'm in other people's homes where there's alcohol because they drink and it's been a while. Last night I just stared at it like I could have that or I could have pop...I wanted water... It felt powerful to look at it and say "nah! Id rather not though." I really don't. It brings me no joy. Working out does. But it can be tiring.
I'm grateful for my best friend and sister, Heidi and the depth of her soul that she opens so transparently with me. I've never understood friendship like this before. It's honestly like a relationship minus the sexual parts! It's awesome.
I'm grateful for Jbird. You've been on the best things/people to happen to me In a a while and I cannot thank you enough. You're generosity and kindness has been outstanding this past month.
To Sabaina & Jennifer E. You two have been a ray of light and positivity- but also direction without even knowing it and I love you both terribly. What my life was like before you, I do not know!
I'm grateful to be alive. I'm grateful to have the clarity and intelligence I continue to acquire through people places and things. I'm incredibly grateful that my nana bought a cottage so long ago with the dream and hope of her grandkids going there, because we do and it's Magical. The water is gorgeous and feels like home though it's full of seaweed.
Thank you.
What are you grateful for?
Have a nice Friday, friends!
Love,
Dorothy
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