Release

In A World Where You Can Be Anything...

#Kindness will take you places. I heard an amazing "argument" last night about the "tough guy" versus the "geek" and I say that very lightly; we used to live in a world where physical aggression and verbal abuse might have got you higher up through intimidation factors or simply because they think they're better than the other.; wake up call! In this day and age the "geeks," the people who care, who do the work, who are passionate about what they do or who they work with, they'll win that battle. They'll win that battle 9/10 🍉

I consider myself the biggest #dweeb now and I love it. I love researching, I love finding answers, I love trying new things, I'm just a very curious individual and there ain't nothing wrong with that. #Embrace it!

It's like when I see someone flip me off in my car I laugh now and say to myself "haha that guy is going to be mad for the next 40 minutes! He's got all those angry bubbles in his head now!" And I'm fine. Flip me off, I'm driving. Waste of energy! Challenge yourself to go out of your way for a kind act today; a compliment, holding two doors, write a note, just be their friend! JUST BE NICE! THIS IS NOT A BAD LIFE🌀 Your life will dramatically change if you simply practice kindness and gratitude #believeit#LifeOfDorothy #bekind #always #geeks #toughguy#beyou #authenticity #mentalhealth #advocate#brain #bubbles #quotes #whatdoyouhavetolose#kindness #mind #body #spirit

Positive and Negative

Love I could sit here all day and talk your ear/eyes off with negative thoughts and life experiences, which I think I've already done.

But more importantly, I am aware of what's going on around me. I never understood the value of this until university, as suddenly I was supposed to "care" about the world. How ignorant was I? 

Ya, it's good to be on top of what's going on the world you live in. You're not invincible and everything affects everything. 

I was having a really bad 48 hours. Really bad, but I had a couple people come to see me and "rescue" me from my mind, but I had to most of the work at 2-5 am 

Do I call the cops or can I make it through this? IM MAKING IT THROUGH I said out loud. I love myself. "I love you Colleen," I had never tried that and it was pretty magical. Powerful. 

Next day I find a book that talks about love being the all powerful force. I'm sure you know exactly what book this is; the thing is I've always known this. Or my intuition has. I've said it for so long I just want love and to give love. 

I took love and it's myths thinking I could write love stories, but I was in for quite the surprise. 

I'm trying to keep this but short because none of the bad stuff matters. I mean it does, but I have to remind myself WHAT I LOVE, WHO J LOVE, and WHO LOVES ME. 

Now, name 10 places people or things, events, data if the week, the weather, that you love and watch your mood rise. 

It's easy to think of the bad. It's way to too easy to lose faith, but miraculous things appear when you choose not to. This universe doesn't happen to us, what we put out we receive back- 10 fold. Got it. Noted. Never ever going to forget that. 

Our heart is the biggest organ of perception. Honour it. Find who you love, what you love, and go do it. 

I got to see my best friends boyfriend yesterday and I look at my phone only to see that it's been one month since he quit drinking and I got so ecstatic. Today I hopefully get to watch him get his one month chip and it's times like these that remind me reality is really not that bad. It's harsh, it can hurt, but you've gotta be willing to fight the hell out of it. I refuse to give in to the demons and doubts and my head because I know that's trickery 

If you're wondering how I coped, I was self talking like a mad woman. I finally went to grab the dog I'm sitting and hugged him. It's amazing how much animals can do for us humans eh? Remarkable. It inmeditaely reminds me of a kid and how much I love their innocence and purity, how their smiles make me want to strive harder than my own blood pushing me.

I have purpose and I know it scares people but the reality is if no one spoke about this, how would we know? We can read all the text books we want but there may come a time where you'll have to become your own hero. 

And that's exactly why I have my back tat to remind me I'm the hero of this story; I don't need to be saved. My story isn't even close to being over....

I'm just building the plot. 

Off to celebrate a year for my friend Dave in sobriety and enjoy my Sunday! 

Love you friends. 

You're never alone. You're not weak. It's a bad day not a bad life 

You're in Control

Life's events are inevitable. We need to stop believing into this trickery that eventually things will be ok. I mean, they will. Until the next bomb is dropped and you feel like you're back to picking up the pieces. 

Picture a glass vase that is worth as much as your life or one you love, with all it's beauty, its design that creates a ripple effect that can be identified with the curves of a human body that we always try and get rid of; embrace your body. 

Something happens. It falls over and parts of it shatter. Yet, the bottom half is still together so it's just a matter of putting together the broken pieces with a little TLC. 

Time goes by and the glass vase is still as beautiful, even with its cracks and prescribed tape. It's important to remind the vase that it's nothing to worry about everything can be "fixed." 

Till it falls again due to some uncontrollable force. We are not always the masters of our own demise... 

Now we've got the bottom and top to put back together but we're not giving up, we keep on fixing the vase because we don't want it thinking we don't care. 

Years ago by and the vase realizes that maybe those bombs weren't meant to drop and affect them in such a way; to break apart their pieces and in all its beauty and cracks it can't help but question why? And more importantly why didn't I do something to help myself? 

MAYBE! Because no one told you, YOU CAN.  Maybe you weren't given the proper tools to help put yourself back together and you're sitting there like this is bullish!t. I'm right here. You can't not miss me, look at how the sun shines through me despite my cracks and breaks. 

You can't be fixed but you can be treated with compassion and understanding. You can extend extra care, be gentle. 

Because when those bombs keep on dropping you're going to feel completely out of control. Like every part of you has shattered and how do we keep doing this? How much longer can we sustain the breaking? It pulls and pulls and we are on our knees crying, begging to see some sort of magical genie or kid notice because they actually do... 

It's like our hearts get torn by overexposure and yet what do we expose? Not the truth. Not the majority anyways.

That sounds negative but its my personal experience that I've dealt with the most deceitful people. And the WORST part is they refuse to take responsibility and if you're sober- frigg- I'm out on 99 adventures a day STILL to forget the father of my child doesn't give 2 flying tucks about what happened to me or what could have been the rest of their life. I saved his life and I get nothing. BUT IVE ACCEPTED THIS, though it sounds like I haven't, the truth is I'll always be pissed so long as he thinks it's ok to ignore a major, traumatic life event. Sorry. 

I'm in control of my happiness and I've let people walk all over me! 

To the guy who claims "I don't owe you a fucking thing," maybe not but after you treated me like absolute dirt, literally like a piece of meat (at 25, I let it happen) I'm praying for you. You're sick and I'm not talking mentally, though I wouldn't be surprised, but you've got blood cancer. You'd think you'd want to make yourself worth fighting for, though you were in the hospital this week for 2 days and have a cast on your wee wee. Karma. And maybe you need to start being kinder to yourself before you invite anyone else in. 

While Dorothy seems angry, rest assured this Friday morning was a very necessary vent session. On my blog. 

I love love and companionship and when I find it, I don't want to let go but that's what has been my downfall. Loving the wrong people or not having control over the people who are supposed to love me unconditionally. 

The other day I was told to text shorter messages. Sorry, but when one is currently in another country and you're trying to get to know them, you ask questions. Curiosity never killed the cat, but long messages do. NO THANKS! 

Go find a "boring" girl who doesn't want to speak is what I say to that or who will listen to your demands cause this Scorpio won't. 

I can stand by your side but I won't save you. I can only save myself, I'm in control of my life, happiness, creation and manifestation. I can help supply tools but you have to work them. 

Pick the pieces up and put them back together. Day by day, minute by minute. 

Ladies. 

Gentlemen. 

Girls and boys... 

Know your power.

Know your worth. 

Know that you deserve kindness, respect, understanding and compassion.

Know that you are no less than the any other human on this planet. We are all given the same doors, it's up to us to decide which ones we walk through and which ones we close the doors on. 

I'm grateful for my sobriety this morning, as I look down at my new tattoo and thank my saving grace. I'm house sitting and countless times I have opened this fridge and I forget I'm in other people's homes where there's alcohol because they drink and it's been a while. Last night I just stared at it like I could have that or I could have pop...I wanted water... It felt powerful to look at it and say "nah! Id rather not though." I really don't. It brings me no joy. Working out does. But it can be tiring.

I'm grateful for my best friend and sister, Heidi and the depth of her soul that she opens so transparently with me. I've never understood friendship like this before. It's honestly like a relationship minus the sexual parts! It's awesome.

I'm grateful for Jbird. You've been on the best things/people to happen to me In a a while and I cannot thank you enough. You're generosity and kindness has been outstanding this past month. 

To Sabaina & Jennifer E. You two have been a ray of light and positivity- but also direction without even knowing it and I love you both terribly. What my life was like before you, I do not know! 

I'm grateful to be alive. I'm grateful to have the clarity and intelligence I continue to acquire through people places and things. I'm incredibly grateful that my nana bought a cottage so long ago with the dream and hope of her grandkids going there, because we do and it's Magical. The water is gorgeous and feels like home though it's full of seaweed.

Thank you. 

What are you grateful for? 

Have a nice Friday, friends! 

Love, 

Dorothy 

Beauties of 5 Continents

To all young girls, women and MEN: love yourself 

1. I am proud and excited to announce that next June 2017 I am a world finalist for Beauties of 5 Continents. I will be competing against women from all over the world, but rather than for just 1 crown-- there's 6. THATS HOW YOU MAKE CHANGE.

WHY HAVE 1 WHEN YOU CAN HAVE 6?!?!?!?!
It's non profit (I LOVE IT!)
It's inclusive to everyone and all contestants.
I can wear what I feel is me on stage in terms of a bathing suit/athletic gear, which I value (I didn't realize how much I did until after MUC)

Full Disclosure: While I'm forever grateful for my experiences and those who helped me along the way this was the reality of my experience.

When I first signed up for Miss Universe Canada it was a dream come true.
It still is! I still cannot believe I walked that stage.
More importantly, I cannot believe I walked that stage after being triggered into a full blown panic attack and feeling completely out of place being told #'s of times how "disgusting" our dance looked-- I'm not a dancer, I never have been I was a soccer player-- sue me. (Be careful what you say, because you really never know when it might come back to bite you in the butt) I remember feeing so out of place, and though the dance wasn't even graded it felt like a whole load full of unnecessary pressure. (Plus, the young gal was hungover with sunglasses on, that told me a lot) 

I work in the mental health field and social and emotional wellbeing is critical to any job, competition, doctors office, tanning salon, moving company.. yet, I remember being told at my first choreographed dance "if I wanted to be told where to lose weight," I could talk to this one fellow and I couldn't believe how sick that made me feel to my stomach. If it was so much about health and fitness, how and why could someone LOOK at me and tell me where to lose weight?

When I look at the photos of my beautiful sisters, I am so proud of them all. Each and every one of them so gracefully took that stage, but as friend who cares and someone who was there for one weekend, I couldn't help but notice how some contestants dropped so much weight the week of and understandably so. It's pure stress and non stop media, training, being on the BALL! BUT that's not the way I want to represent myself or this country.

What is that? Maybe I'm living in a dream world, but I don't think so. I just want to be myself in a world where everyone is trying to make you into someone that already exists. I get to choose where I want to pursue my "reign of change" and that begins in our communities. As much as I love the idea of helping globally, our local communities need us first. (but that's just me)

With the Beauties of 5 Continents I have the opportunity to be on a cruise ship in the Bahamas (Sorry Windsor) and we have already been told each day is 3 hour practice and the rest we get to explore. Thats life. Thats living and that's learning.. similar to MUC, regardless of the outcome: PRESSURE IS A PRIVILEGE.

Thank you to EVERY single human who has helped not only make me see that I am capable of such experiences, but if you're willing to take a risk you still might get a crown for being the goofy, fun girl (Miss Congeniality 2016 oh ya babay!)
#LifeOfDorothy
#BeautiesOf5

Look out for my Social media pages, because you're going to want to change the world with me and I'll need your help 

http://www.beautiesof5continents.com/#!Colleen R/zoom/cfvg/dataItem-ir7u6j75

My favourite photo in my favourite dress made by my favourite designer Lucian Matis 

Open For Business

My heart. 

My heart was closed for a long time beginning around 16. I didn't believe in myself, my family, my "friends," I felt very alone and very lost, but you would never have been able to tell. 

It took a long time to repair damage caused by myself and then myself and other relationships. Many I've yet to overcome, but are totally on my sail away ship.

Recently I've come to notice those who I do open my heart to, whether friendly or romantically (though I'm not doing much of that lately) that I've attracted the right people. And it's not just by what they do or how they act but because of who they are. 

More than ever before I've been hanging with people who often say "it feels so good to just be myself!" AND I GET IT CAUSE IM FEELING THE SAME THING! 

My one friend Carly and I are both wild cats. We can't sit still, but were best friends and business partners- WE LOVE IT! 

My most recent experience was last evening when, after waking up from a 4 hour nap, I woke up to a bag at my front door with my name on it. 

Inside: 

Pasta Bolognese (like real Italian mama tomatoes yum fantastico!!!!) 

Chocolate chia cookies 

And a note. 

For my saving grace I don't know what I've done to deserve such kindness. But it brought tears to my eyes...

I used to hardly be able to feed myself and just within recent months I've been back on track. But here I have this pure, genuine, whole hearted human just making me a massive portion because they can and want to. It made me feel so special and so loved. I had to post about it so I can remember this love for a long time... 

Never forget how loved you are and by who. Sometimes they're just below your nose and you don't even know! 

Dorothy xo 

Thanks to my J bird/FireFly

You Never Know Who You're going to Reach, So KEEP REACHING.

What I'm about to post or share with you today is very dear to my heart. It's the behind the scenes communication, the acts of kindness and words I offer to those I intuitively feel and know in my heart, to no fault of their own, need some compassion in their life, some understanding, an ear, maybe some direction versus judgment, or silence; even worse- Ignorance. 

For the privacy and respect of my friend I am changing their name to-Jim.

I randomly messaged Jim and his friend, as they own a store near where I live. I loved their shop, especially when I didn't live there so one day I guess I said "why not?" (I'm now realizing this is part of my gift, my gut leads me in particular directions and it's never made sense to me but it does more and more--believe it or not I don't care what you think, remember? My magic.) 

At first Jim and I shared little details like what I did for a living, how we like nature, as I knew what he did-clearly. Within our first conversation he was so supportive and highly regarded what I did, child and youth care counselling. I was so blown away by his reaction, as not many males will sit there and tell you a whole paragraph as to why your role matters. They usually just nod their head like "sure thing". 

But then it hit me, those who can relate to individuals and the work I do likely have a story of their own. I mean we all do, but not everyone is willing to share it, right? I get it. No one is forcing you, ever! You have to feel safe and comfortable-- Trust is a wee bit important.
But more than that you need to feel heard. Not just talking and someone nodding, but that relativity and Jim told me that in his time of trying to talk to people, it was weird that I wanted to continue talking to him (been there), but I wanted to and I'm damn well glad I stuck to that feeling. 

I'm also a bit annoying and this goes for my friends or if I have an inclination somethings the matter, my gut right? 

I'll let him fill in the rest. Just remember: 

STAND SPEAK REACH 

@standspeakreach

Reach out: NEVER STOP REACHING OUT 

I bawled like a baby knowing my persistence finally came in my favour of a life this time around. 

You just never know. You don't. So why not try? 

For the love of god TRY MY FRIENDS! We need more people. 

I'm moving to Woodstock in a week and I don't think there's anywhere else I'd rather go. Since January there's been over 6 youth suicides. There's only 38 000 people....no matter what it takes. Time to help my fellow community 

Be your own hero. 

Dorothy xo 

Horoscopes

I can tell A LOT about a person when they tell me their sign. I think being aware of both our moon and sun signs help guide us--if you have the faith that is. And I do. I have. 

That's why I am sharing this particular one with you.

Aug 03, 2016 scorpio Daily Horoscope

Mars has moved out of your house after a very long stay, and this brings some much needed relief for you. You aren’t in fighting mode anymore, and you are happy about that. With Mars moving into Sagittarius for the next two months, the focus for you will be on using this energy supply to make some true wealth for yourself. This is not money that comes to you, but rather, money that comes from some solid good work. How will you create wealth for yourself?

After 3 years I made a choice to end my relationship.

Just yesterday I finally found a new home that is unfamiliar, but familiar given I have nothing holding me in Waterloo anymore. 

I think I told just about everyone I talked to yesterday I felt a huge sense of relief and that I am doing this for me, my career, my grades sure but more so so I can stay on that dean's list and keep up with my scholarships....AND IT JUST HIT ME HOW I WILL CREATE WEALTH FOR MYSELF (since I don't have a full time paying job-- think outside the box, duh) 

TIME TO KICK IT IN TO GEAR 

- See more at: http://astrologyanswers.com/horoscopes/daily/scorpio/?Email=dorothysaysarbonne@gmail.com&utm_source=Maropost&utm_medium=Email&utm_content=Read_More&utm_campaign=Daily_Horoscope#sthash.r0qbJnd4.dpuf