I went to Oakville where I grew up the other day. While I was there I visited my grandmother who is 89! She is a fantastic lady. Granted, growing up I did not see a whole lot of my grandparents so when I became my own little adult I took it upon myself to build a relationship with her, which I did!!!
Love my Gma.
While I was there we spoke about my recent ventures, where I used to be, what I used to want to be and where my brothers are!
Growing up I worked in my dads office as a young young girl serving coffee and whatever mail I could open. It was also during this time I realized I never wanted to sit at a boring desk all day long. In other words, business was out. Though my father still believes I'd make an excellent sales woman, that's not me. I can sell stuff absolutely! I run 2 of my own businesses, but it's health and wellness. I love learning about that stuff contrary to crunching numbers and that's just me!
Now let me get to the juicy part of my story:
Yesterday my friend called me at 9 as she received a call the night prior regarding her car. I guess her boyfriend was out and seemingly under the influence as he was pulled over by the cops and HER car was impounded because he blew over. Now this person already had priors, which he just went through so this was sticky.
We knew no information, as she was only told go to the court house for 9 am. Naturally I went with her because I don't let my friends face shit on their own.
We get there and I don't know about you guys, but I had zero clue where to go, who to talk to, I'm looking at lists of civil cases, family and criminal. I felt like for the first time I was in suits rather than watching it. You have all these people walking around with clients, people crying..anyways.
Long story short: we waited in this court room from 9 in the morning till 2 in the afternoon. If you're at all unaware of how the system works there's particular rooms for particular cases. For example, releasing an individual at their own reconissagne, bail, pleas.
So it started off with theft. Then a woman who married a man in Cuba and was facing domestic charges.
Then it got real.
A 65 year old male who sexually assaulted a minor 3 separate times, including at a school near by mine. And the whole time he sat there shaking his head like "no I didn't do that," bud it's been recorded" thankfully they remanded him but the sentencing is pitiful. He can't stay away from a park or a school and hail is 500? Got it.
The lawyers were not helpful. The one said she'd be right back to talk to us, didn't see her again till court and I WENT UP TO HER AND SAID WHAT THE?
They were not kind. They were belittling each other. One guy says to this girl "You still articling?" "No, I'm a full blown Lawyer" she says with a massive smile on her face. My friend and I turned to each other and said "why did he even ask it like that?!" He could have said "good to see you, what are you doing now?" but No. You still articling? While he sits up there with his cloak all mighty. Sorry, but you go girl. I would have looked at him like "ARTICLE THIS" but that doesn't make sense and that's why I wouldn't fit in.
The lawyers were not helpful. The one said she'd be right back to talk to us, didn't see her again till court and I WENT UP TO HER AND SAID WHAT THE?
They were not kind. They were belittling each other. One guy says to this girl "You still articling?" "No, I'm a full blown Lawyer" she says with a massive smile on her face. My friend and I turned to each other and said "why did he even ask it like that?!" He could have said "good to see you, what are you doing now?" but No. You still articling? While he sits up there with his cloak all mighty. Sorry, but you go girl. I would have looked at him like "ARTICLE THIS" but that doesn't make sense and that's why I wouldn't fit in.
As time went on both my friend and I had extreme nerves as to what was going to happen with her boyfriend because we still didn't no any details. I won't speak much to this anymore as I respect these two people a great deal and he is at home and fine.
BUT Low and behold this young girl walks in with multicolour hair, handcuffed, a lengthy list of priors with theft, prostitution and drug possession. She doesn't look up, but her eyes are swollen from crying and she looks terrified. I began to feel bad just sitting there because the last thing I wanted was her thinking we were looking at her like "yikes," because really I wanted to stand up and say I'll be her surety!
Soon after, it hit me why this girl was so "close to my heart," as I used to work at a wine rack in downtown Kitchener before I sobered up and also realized I didn't like the wine industry. I would work alone (till 11 pm) and this girl would come by and honestly just stare at me. It used to frighten me because I was always wondering what did she want?!?!
My boss showed me where the panic button was, but then told me to never use it, even if we were being robbed. Confusing, I know.
Nevertheless, I quickly learned, like so many of us, she's sick and doing whatever her mind or drug wants her to do. She never hurt me. Not to mention, she couldn't have been much older than I was, if not younger. That was the beginning of my perspective on homeless and addicts on the streets prior to my ignorant bliss. But this is is my field, I will work with youth in the streets and I am fortunate I know that deep down they are all such wonderful souls who, often protected me! The old burly men anyways. They'd stand out front my store! K i'm getting side tracked.....
Prior to this incident, she had been sober for the longest time since 1996 and that my friends, was 5 months.
BUT This recent allegation was one where she was found at 12:50 am with a gram of crystal meth and seemingly in the process of prostituting herself. BUT DON'T LOSE HOPE! Of all the cases I heard that day, this one was oddly the "best" because rather than remanding her they wanted to encourage the progress she had made as, she sought stable living with the ASH program. The crown, the defence were all in agreeance. and I smiled at her and she smiled back. I gave her the thumbs up, I don't think that's appropriate but no matter where I go I take rules and smash em apart for good purposes, like encouraging this girl from the outside! Maybe she'll remember that girl who smiled at her in court versus looking at her like OMG-- that's reality for a lot of people. But they do NOT all look like that. I know people laugh when I mention I go to AA or I'm an alcoholic. YEUP!
Like at Miss Universe Canada I told someone I didn't drink and their response "Like AA don't drink?" HAHAHA! Yes, like AA don't drink. That's my community of people who understand, clearly. They welcome me. Laugh with me. Encourage me. Feed me.
So, by now maybe you're wondering "K, Colleen, what did you get out of this? Don't do crystal meth?"
Yes. That! AND! I realized if I didn't follow my heart like I have, I might be one of those lawyers. I was aiming in law, I was an A student in Family law. More importantly, it showed me what life could have been like had I given up on myself and so had the people around me. And I am not saying this in spite of these individuals, as that's their stuff. But you can't help but sit there knowing you are lucky to walk out of there at the end of the day, go home, eat dinner, and go to sleep without worry about your next fix, your next time youre going to have to exploit yourself to escape reality. To literally not have to worry about sitting in what I call a glass case of emotion... #WhiteRope is my policy.
To end this message: Do NOT drink and drive FOLKS. I don't care how close you are to home, how sober you might think you are, those are always the cases that get caught and it's not worth it!!!!! ITS SIMPLY NOT WORTH IT! FOR YOU, FOR THOSE YOU LOVE. PLEASE.
FOLLOW YOUR HEART AND INTUITION.
BELIEVE IN YOURSELF.
SOBRIETY IS NOT EASY BUT IS DAMN WELL WORTH EVERY MOMENT.
NOT MAKING TOP DOLLAR MAY NOT BE THE MOST IDEAL (as my father tells me, I won't make very much) BUT IF YOU'RE HAVING FUN WHILE DOING IT-- THATS WHAT COUNTS. If you wake up in the morning and look forward to your day, then run with that. Stop listening to the voices of other people and what they think. THEY ARE NOT YOU.
I AM SO VERY GRATEFUL I FOLLOWED MY HEART AND HAD PEOPLE SUPPORT ME. LOVE ME. LEAVE ME. BUT I WENT ABOVE THAT. I'M BIGGER THAN THAT AND YOU ARE TOO..
(HAPPY BIRTHDAY SABAINA!)
Love,
Dorothy xo
Like at Miss Universe Canada I told someone I didn't drink and their response "Like AA don't drink?" HAHAHA! Yes, like AA don't drink. That's my community of people who understand, clearly. They welcome me. Laugh with me. Encourage me. Feed me.
So, by now maybe you're wondering "K, Colleen, what did you get out of this? Don't do crystal meth?"
Yes. That! AND! I realized if I didn't follow my heart like I have, I might be one of those lawyers. I was aiming in law, I was an A student in Family law. More importantly, it showed me what life could have been like had I given up on myself and so had the people around me. And I am not saying this in spite of these individuals, as that's their stuff. But you can't help but sit there knowing you are lucky to walk out of there at the end of the day, go home, eat dinner, and go to sleep without worry about your next fix, your next time youre going to have to exploit yourself to escape reality. To literally not have to worry about sitting in what I call a glass case of emotion... #WhiteRope is my policy.
To end this message: Do NOT drink and drive FOLKS. I don't care how close you are to home, how sober you might think you are, those are always the cases that get caught and it's not worth it!!!!! ITS SIMPLY NOT WORTH IT! FOR YOU, FOR THOSE YOU LOVE. PLEASE.
FOLLOW YOUR HEART AND INTUITION.
BELIEVE IN YOURSELF.
SOBRIETY IS NOT EASY BUT IS DAMN WELL WORTH EVERY MOMENT.
NOT MAKING TOP DOLLAR MAY NOT BE THE MOST IDEAL (as my father tells me, I won't make very much) BUT IF YOU'RE HAVING FUN WHILE DOING IT-- THATS WHAT COUNTS. If you wake up in the morning and look forward to your day, then run with that. Stop listening to the voices of other people and what they think. THEY ARE NOT YOU.
I AM SO VERY GRATEFUL I FOLLOWED MY HEART AND HAD PEOPLE SUPPORT ME. LOVE ME. LEAVE ME. BUT I WENT ABOVE THAT. I'M BIGGER THAN THAT AND YOU ARE TOO..
(HAPPY BIRTHDAY SABAINA!)
Love,
Dorothy xo
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