The Adventure

"My dearest friend, even if your hope has burned with time, anything that's dead shall be re-grown and your vicious pain, your warning sign, you will be fine. 

Hello, here I am. Here we go, life's waiting to begin.

I can't live, I can't breathe unless you do this with me. I can't live I can't breathe unless you do this with me..." 

Holy Sh!t what a day. Excuse me for swearing. I walked into a meeting this morning, as I generally do most Sunday's but today I felt anxious and I couldn't figure out why. I was gone for my pageant so it's not like I was hiding anything...(this will make sense eventually, Colleen, duh!) 

As I walk inside I'm greeted by four of the friendliest gentlemen I've had the pleasure of knowing. Humourous as heck too! -my one British pal, he's gotta be easily 20-30 years older than I and I told him I was in the Miss Universe Canada pageant and he goes "you better have brains cause you certainly don't have beauty..." I died.

Anyways, a new couple whom I've never seen before walks in. So I take my stuff and put it at "my seat" and I see the woman of this couple standing alone, so naturally I go introduce myself: "hi I'm Colleen! Nice to meet you." 

"Hi, I'm Dorothy." 

....i have no idea what I said after as I stared blankly thinking of ALLLLLL the names you could have you're telling me it's Dorothy?! Like my nanas name? The reason I come to these meetings was because the first woman I met here was named Dorothy. 

THEN a good friend of mine speaks and I'm looking at the date and it hits me: 3 years ago on this day my life flipped! It went from living to I HAVE NO IDEA. I found out I was pregnant. 

It's fair to say this day haunted me in previous years but I worked really hard to try and work through the pain, hurt, unstoppable feelings of abandonment. 

None of those exist today. Or at least not nearly to the same degree as they did! ITS A MIRACLE! 

This lyrics above reminded me of when I sing them in regards to someone else but it hit me today: I was singing them to myself. This is my adventure and I'm fine. 

I'm just fantastic, actually! 

I'm living my dream, I'm competing in a national pageant for the youth, I feel like I'm in the best shape of my life, still not drinking and damn ok with it! 

Thank you everyone for being there. 

Love, 

Colleen