On March 26, 2016 we made a dent in the universe. We brought change to forefront of people's eyes and ears.
I am so proud to say that my first fundraiser was nothing short than a success. Sure, I didn't have tons of people, but I had one incredibly wise and kind woman come to interview me. We did have at least 25-30 people show up!
I don't think I could have chose any better of speakers to speak to us that day.
Paulie Obryne shared his story with us and it was absolutely compelling. Not a single person was left with a dry eye in the room. As I was told by one woman yesterday, it wasn't so much the fat that he had been raped, but at 21? She said. "We do everything to protect our babies when they are younger and older too..." And similar to Paulie her sons played competitive hockey too.
We spoke of fear, shame and greatness. We opened our hearts and our minds to think bigger- to think outside the box and raise some money while we can-- and we did.
Over $1000 from my first event and I couldn't be more thrilled or thankful for all that supported me by coming out, helping out, donating, or feeding me words of wisdom and faith.
What we took away from this was not enough people are sharing their experiences like Sabaina, Kristi, Paulie or myself. My audience members were 'moved to the core" and I have a feeling they were not anticipating that and that's ok! That's the point of this, to normalize these conversations. It isn't easy, but as I went to grab donation gifts from a close friend she disclosed to me that the previous weekend she had lost two students to suicide.
Emotionally discombobulated she turns to me and says "I had seen her turn dark when she was my student-- I should have said or done something then." We all have thoughts like that one way or another when a loved one passes. We grieve and question if we did everything right, or where we went wrong, but the reality in these scenarios is that YOU are NOT the reason they made that choice. We make the choice. Our heads and brain can get to a state that is so low, we can so easily convince ourselves that it is for the better, we are a burden to our friends and family and likely society....
Can you imagine those feelings and pressure? I can. I can still visualize them well, but they are so far and few between, they have become a somewhat normal strand of thinking in my head, but thankfully for me it is 'well this is an option" and I so quickly come back into reality and think "wow! no! I've been there before. It's not happening. I'm here for a purpose..." and I remind myself all my 'whys'
-I love my family and students too much
-I'm determined to see change
-I'm determined to not let life's problems hit me in such a gruelling way
-I have to let go of things that no longer serve me purpose and I have to do an "inventory" monthly of what or who that is.
-I have worked so hard to get where I am and I feel physically and mentally stronger than I ever have
-The world needs survivors and that counts for anyone reading this. We need more individuals who are willing to take the reign of sobriety and show up and work it. There is no life more rich and fulfilling than our own, why waste it? Literally.
When it gets old, come talk to me.
I can't wait to rock another one of these events.
If you have any questions don't hesitate to contact me at
Dorothy.colleen.rennie24@gmail.com
More soon..
Love,
Colleen
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