I've come to conclusion once someone makes my blog, even though their name is not exposed they know who I'm talking about it and I receive messages like "take me off your blog," or "I'm grateful you didn't use my name," and I can totally appreciate that. It's scary how the written word can have so much power in today's society. I never thought of my blog as a potential weapon, but the reactions from some of the "men" I've called out, priceless. I have to remind myself "what is the action that lead to this reaction?" OH RIGHT! YOU MADE THAT COMMENT! And now I want to write about it because I know I'm not the only one...(cue Sam Smith)
I have all right to discuss what I want, sorry. That is the world we live in today. However, never in a million years would I ever go out of my way to hurt someone on here. I bring realities to life, the messiness and try to make sense of it all. Like how naive I can be when it comes to love. But where do we draw the line? Between keeping going or "giving up" and I'm all for DONT GIVE UP! LOVE IS LOVE! I'm as hopeless romantic as they come, but I'm laughing at myself and the scenario I find myself in. That's why I also share because I know I'm not the only one. I have an inbox full of messages from my friends about their relationships and honestly, right now is a shitty time of the year for all people.
You need to listen to your gut. The one that says no matter how irrational and cray I might seem, if the person is really worth it, if you can feel that in your soul DO NOT GIVE UP. If your heart can't stop you'll be miserable trying to stop it, go with the flow, but don't let anyone treat you like shit or disrespect you. Don't lose your sense of self in the process. You deserve the same treatment as you would give, if it's not reciprocated, walk away. You know your worth, I know mine but I am not living up to it, till now.
When you mess up, be prepared to live with the consequences. How else are we supposed to learn? That's life challenging you through your own demise, which is how we rise.
LADIES: Be strong. Be yourself. Don't back down.
This whole wrist slapping reprimanding is a JOKE. Have we lost our self respect and I include myself in this? Or the constant questioning "should I text him or leave it?" "I feel like he.." YOU CANNOT ASSUME HIS EMOTION. But you can do what you think is right for yourself, take that risk, walk away or do something that makes him feel like "shit, this is real." YOU ARE AS REAL AS IT GETS AND DONT FORGET THAT!
DO WHAT YOUR HEART FEELS IS RIGHT AND STOP LISTENING TO THE BRAIN. The littlest things go such a far way, be grateful for all the lessons you're being given from life experiences as the bad and brutal build you for the bold and beautiful; remember these feelings, this state of mind is only as temporary as you want it to be. The sadness, disappointment, anger; remind yourself who you are and the simple fact alone that you can address these emotions and not want to hide in a hole (you might, but please don't) thats courage. That's using your heart to do something really brave even though you are not prepared or wanting to do so. Read a book and let your mind escape in it. Write your own!
It is all to easy for people to forget that behind every person, every soul, every human is a story. Not all stories have been fairytales, which is evident given the rates of depression and loneliness. But we have all the resources available, not all accessible, but love is out there.
Trauma is a real thing and I think our society forgets how many of us have experienced that and so the simple ignoring of a text or maybe the avoidance of what someone perceives to be a waste of time, explore that. Time is a human made invention and we all are deserving of ears and people's time. I don't tell the guys I meet about my trauma and it doesn't hit me till the 11th hour that I'm not just suffering sadness, it's the compounded emotions that go along with it. That's where, personally, I find myself struggling the most. And what does that mean? I have more work to do on myself. I honestly do not like that idea as much as the next guy because I want to believe I am over things and that things or people don't hurt me. I can put on a really brave face/mask/shield; I make an amazing Martyr. I want to believe I don't have to talk about my ex boyfriend still and how seeing his girlfriend comment on the photos of my...his..their...nephews "my dudes" and my heart is sensitive (shocking, i know) and it thinks "that was just me! I loved those boys with every bone in my body and now Uncle CoCo is just dead."
Truthfully speaking my self worth took a dive. It wasn't too bad, but I caught myself listening to the opinions of someone who spent maybe 5 hours with me in total in December of 2016, but continued to tell me nice things, I went along with it and then I realized nothing about it felt right; I get lost in my emotions, I felt alone and I question why did I let that person in? "I was just beginning to feel like my diamond self and now I feel like buried treasure." Ultimately, its up to us. We can throw as much blame as we want at other people but they aren't and cannot clean up YOUR mess.
Our messes are beautiful tapestries of life events. No two people should experience the same or there wouldn't be the beautiful diversity we see everyday. Fight for what you want, but know when the time is right to give up. When your heart says, "that's it."
Surrender.
Let it be.
Love Dorothy
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