Friday:
I leave around 2 pm. Got my dress fitted that day and head to Windsor.
I had interviews with 12 judges, 5 minutes each. Asking me questions such as if j became prime minister what would I do? What would I or where would I like to see change? What is unique about me? Who inspires me other than my parents? Why miss universe Canada?
Then our amazing director gifted us those phenomenal shoes! And we got roses. So special.
BY 10:00 I was dead. I got ready in the car there for this one. Thank goodness j straightened my hair.
Knowing me, there is no sense in going back to bed because I'll just wake up feeling tired again-- most people would as you go through that cycle of REM again. SO I WOKE UP, strapped my heels on and started walking the hall way (that sounds bad, but I was just practicing)
I had to be at the Capitol Theatre in Windsor for 9:00 am sharp. So I left my hotel at 8:30, got myself a timmies, and went in! We had to wait around for about an hour...then it was 4 hours of practice in our heels
We're going over our dance- I am not one for choreography- and the instructor is hungover, yelling at us like "this is discugusting." Fine. I get it. Tough world and we gotta be strict, but that's when it hit me: the attitude of this girl in general is soul sucking. She's won something and she uses it to her advantage. I would have done it differently so I walk away with the respect of the contestants as its some of their first time- deal with it.
Not long after all of this I got in my head and I had a panic attack. Right before we were about to practice the dance again, I got stuck in my head. I couldn't move, literally. BUT I ran to the back of this theatre and went into the fetal position. That didn't work as the more I cried (as my thoughts were taking over- you can't do this, why are you here, you're going to look ridiculous, when they say disgusting they're looking at me) the harder it was for me to breathe; i tried standing on all 4's on the ground like a cat or dog but that didn't work. This was worrying me and there was NO WAY I was backing out now so i had to say out loud to myself "Colleen you need to stand up." so I did and I felt that sense of relief and strength. It's a tiny spark of empowerment that hits you; and finally I had two girls find me and ask to bring me water while the other rubbed my back (thank goodness for people like that) as I looked up I found myself surrounded by Yellow brick. (DOROTHY!)
I continued on..the rest of the day was go time and prep time. I got my make up done, then had to practice our walk in our bikinis-- then I got my hair done and my dress finally arrived.
The thoughts going through my head were "ok who are you doing this for? your younger self. That girl who was mistreated, misinformed and deserved more credit from yours truly."
Irony hit as this beautiful and talented 12 year old girl stood on that stage before me and sang her heart out to both the US and Canadian National Anthems. It was this moment it hit me: if only I had the guts to do what she was doing now back then....WELL THEN I WOULDN'T BE ON THIS STAGE HERE RIGHT NOW. BUT DARN YOU'RE INSPIRING AS HECK!
Then it got even better. A 17 year old dancer, Bianca, took the stage and absolutely wowed the crowd and myself. I had goosebumps the entire time. Thanks to her lovely mother Linda, you can find the dance here:https://vimeo.com/163992900
My first walk was for my bio, wherein Sonny and Chelsea told the audience a little about myself and naturally my bio wasn't short, so I had to stand up there for a longer duration than others no big deal!
My bikini walk: blacked out. From nerves. I have no idea. My scarf went everywhere. I was wearing the highest of heels in a tiny pink bathing suit--- I'm just glad I didn't fall.
OH MY GOODNESS WAS I EXCITED TO PUT ON MY EVENING GOWN. Though I had never walked in it before and it was evident that I had to be super careful with my shoes, as they were getting caught in my shoes I said to myself THIS IS IT! I DON'T CARE WHAT HAPPENS FROM ME, THIS IS A MOMENT I'LL NEVER FORGET! Why? I don't mean to brag but when Lucian Matis makes you a dress, you own it.
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| Hair & Makeup = Finis for look 1 |
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| Bianca & I |
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| My Dress <3 |
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| My Trophy |
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| My Sash, Flowers and Tropy! |
"Miss Congeniality is a coveted title at a beauty pageant. Known by her peers as the most friendly, helpful, genuine and outgoing contestant in the pageant, Miss Congeniality is an award given by the harshest judges of all: the other contestants."
This is the only award voted on by the delegates themselves. The Miss Congeniality Award reflects the respect and admiration of the delegate's peers, who voted for her as the most congenial, charismatic and inspirational participant.
Not bad eh? Especially considering too, I used to FEAR girls. Or instil fear in them till I found out how uncool that was. Live and Learn.
I am so beyond grateful for this experience. It has taught me so much more than you can imagine, beginning with being able to rock any heel of any size (and it's so much easier without alcohol, DUH)
I've had a lot of people ask me what my favourite moment was and here it is: I think my favourite moment was when my best friend Heidi (Heydita Fuentes) and I were off to the side as we waited till the end of the show, we did not make it to the question and answer portion and that was ok. In our gorgeous, poofy, or in my case lacey and tight dresses we laughed until we couldn't breathe about our time and how the universe had other plans for us both. However, meeting was definitely apart of that plan. This girl has inspired me in so many ways and I am so honoured to call her my friend.
By the end of the night I was the first award called, "the ray of shining light is....COLLEEN RENNIE!" and I had my moment.
Pressure is a privilege. It opens the door for us to push our own personal boundaries and goals-- to embrace challenges rather than fear them. If you're always afraid, you never know what you're missing out on. What if nothing happens? BUT WHAT IF SOMETHING DOES?
Love you all!
TO MENTAL HEALTH WEEK!
TO ALL THE INDIVIDUALS WHO ARE MY FELLOW SUFFERS. THIS WAS A TERRIFYING EXPERIENCE BUT I DID IT. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO GO THROUGH PAGEANTS TO PROVE YOURSELF, BUT IF YOU GET THE CALL-- GO FOR IT!
Dorothy xo
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