What would you do?

Imagine yourself trying to move on, from any situation, but try and make it one where it was real difficult.

If could change or try and change the circumstances? Would you? What would you finally say to the person? THAT'S TERRIFYING! And a vulnerable experience. Hate to say I know because I've experienced it, but I wouldn't be writing this if I hadn't.

I made a ton of mistakes growing up. I screwed people over, I broke their hearts, and as I've said before I got my own heart broken in the process. That was never the plan, but when you're a reckless girl who doesn't see the point in having a "plan" (at the time) ya, your world may crash down. I didn't know what it was like to feel real feelings, well not since a long time ago. This person opened my world by caring about me in the most obscure way from the beginning, and that's not a bad thing. She/He (not saying who) made me a better person-- I tried harder. I loved harder. But I also crashed harder.

Yet, my trust still struggles in the eyes of other people, or rather, my security. My classmates this year are unlike any individuals I've ever met, they are constantly overwhelming me with positivity and love. I've taken a leadership role that and I don't take that lightly. I care for these girls. Yet, I can't help but feel like if I hadn't been so "premature colleen" this wouldn't be what it is ...

If you've ever heard the song 500 Miles...listen to it by sleeping at last. Ironic band name, but it's my heart broken song for this person and I'm going to marvel in it, and then I'm going to do what I have to do: move on. There's literally nothing left or more to be said.

To every sign I've seen and felt, I think that's the toughest pill to swallow. My gut so strongly felt like despite all the shit, we'd been through extraordinary circumstances before. Every day and every night there was something....

But I'm glad I never denied myself that chance and that I can say f'ing sober once. That feels damn powerful.

TO TAKING RISKS WHILE NOT UNDER ANY INFLUENCE BUT YOUR OWN GUT/HEART!

Dorothy is OUTTTTTTTTT! Back to her life.  Back to my speech. Back to the people who need me and want me-- like how I've been told 3 times this week "I just get it- I'm their match" or "kindred spirit," I take that with pride and I won't let these girls down, cause likely I'm doing it to myself at the same time, this shit works in tandem. UH UH NO WAY!

See you at the Harvest Moon.