SickNotWeakStock

Holy miraculous.

If there's ever any advice I can seriously give someone it's this: be careful what you wish for; ask and you shall receive if you're willing to believe. 

YOU HAVE to have faith in something, SOMETHING (nothing doesn't work) yourself, gut, karma... and have a gallon of self confidence on the side ready to pull out at ANYTIME. 

If it wasn't enough this year to be surprised getting into Miss Universe Canada, I just had a phone call yesterday that has made my mind spin. "Hi Diana it's Colleen!...oh I heard a beep." "HI Colleen! It's Michael (Landsberg)" ...interviews are sneaky these days.. 

To some it's nothing, to others it's something, to me ITS EVERYTHING. 

So SickNotWeak is an organization created by Michael Landsberg; runs his own sports show off the record, used to be the face of TSN. Suffers from depression like I do. And last week or the week before I had the chance to go to an event they put together last minute for a very important cause- 5 youth suicides in Woodstock. 

While there Michael made an announcement about getting people involved with SNW, and I was all ears. Ironically I happen to go to Fanshawe's Woodstock campus (I commute, just an FYI) so I started thinking and thinking and finally I sent the guy a tweet....

"@heyitsmichaellandsberg you said you'd give me your email. I want to be involved." And he directly messaged me. We exchanged emails and I told him about myself, my visions, my solutions, my dreams... 

ANYWAYS. He set me up with the wonderful Diana Davis and so she sent me this phone number to call for 11:00 am. No problem. 

..."is this Colleen?" "Well hello Michael!" "You sound even more congenial on the phone." #MissCongeniality 

I want to share and heal through experiences boldly using my voice and stories to provide relativity, normalcy, de-stigmatize....

I don't know a whole lot yet except that I will be a team lead and likely for public speaking- if you thought I was done I told you I was JUST getting Started. 

Thanks to everyone who is currently in my life making it everything and more, I am shooting for the stars and I'm unstoppable -WHAT IS THIS LIFE? 

Whoever said you can't go after you want was a total liar. How rude. 

So, don't give up. 

Don't quit.

We need you. I want to see your emails in the volunteer inbox. It's time my friends! 

Remember you're worthy and you're loved and you're so not alone 

Xo

Dorothy 

StandSpeakReach

Good Day my friends, readers, peeps!

I HAVE SOME EXCITING NEWS

I HAVE BEEN BUSY.
If you asked me if I had a job right now, I'd tell you Yes.

I'm working part time PR for mental health advocacy and for a holistic wellness retreat.

I planted a peace pole.

I still volunteer a great portion of my day at a local school because my kids need me and won't let me miss a day "even if I'm sick"-- it's the cutest. BUT LAST WEEK IS THIS WEEK :(

SO I'VE BEEN WAITING. Well, not so much waiting as feeling out my options and I'm glad I did.

I have teamed up with 2 other girls from Ontario to advocate for Mental Health and you can follow us on Facebook as the "Stand Speak Reach Project" https://www.facebook.com/StandSpeakReach/?fref=ts
or on twitter @standspeakreach!
Carly, Katie and myself are ready. We are committed to being the voices of our generation and we have to start somewhere right? Mental Illness does not discriminate and stigma kills.

 Located all over western region of Ontario, we believe in our stories, our journeys and trust the process and we're hoping you join us!

Today is exciting as we have the opportunity to work with ANOTHER group from Toronto, Ontario, TranQool!

'Welcome.
What a day it is, a new day. Regardless of the weather or circumstances remember YOU have the power to turn your day around at any point.
CHOOSE YOUR ATTITUDE!
Don't let it be rude dude*

WE ARE SUPER EXCITED TO ANNOUNCE WE ARE TAKING OVERTranQools Twitter today!

So if you haven't already head over to the twittersphere and followStandspeakreachproject and TranQool! We're starting the conversation TODAY!

Can't wait to hear from our team and ANYONE who wants to contribute. Let's get this conversation going...

Thinking about taking the next steps of your recovery, whether it be mental health, addictions, physical or academical... We want to help.
We care
You matter
You're not alone
You have purpose.

WE ARE HERE FOR YOU!!!! Never forget it

Carly
Katie
Colleen
✌🏼️💕❤️💙💕💙

**** TranQool is not a crisis line and cannot help people who are suicidal.
TranQool is only available in ON
TranQool therapists are RSWS and psychologists
TranQool is CBT based therapy"

... so what are you waiting for? We are all affected by Mental Health/Illness it's time we unite. 

Grail 2016

The Ache of My Job

I love my job.

I love when my students smile and scream every time I walk into class like I'm famous and follow me around the yard like I'm super cool. 

I love how emotionally open both the girls and boys are that I meet.

I loveeeeeeee when my students choose not to give up on themselves and prove to themselves, that despite how "well" something might or might not be/look-- it's done. They did what they said they couldn't "ever" do. 

But with every job, there are areas you cannot change no matter who or what you are. My heart aches and breaks when I hear stories of my students and their home life, one that I admittedly took and still can take for granted. The only difference is I know better now. They don't and if they do, well, they grew up quickly and there's likely a bigger picture behind the scene. 

I understand my job is not to criticize or judge the families and I am not. I am not there to fix their home life, I am there to help manage their school life and the thoughts and feelings when they are at school. Yet, I can't help but observe and think-- what about the parents? What more can we do? Is my only option to call FCS? That rips families apart and if you could see what I have, they are already torn. Across the board. I have worked at 4 or 5 schools in Waterloo and that's not that many, but I've seen so much. So much potential with zero motivation and zero encouragement. AND THEY ARE LITTLE FIREFLIES!

LET THEM SHINE! I try my best to protect that light in them, which allows them to shine, to be their authentic self and not the kid stuffed into a box. 

I've always said that having a child is like getting a permanent tattoo on your forehead-- it's there for good. You can b!tch and complain that you have them, or work with what you got. I would suggest the latter if we're talking little humans, they can't guide themselves and for no other reason than WE SUPPLY THEM WITH THE SURVIVAL TOOLS OF HOW TO LIVE- NOT JUST WHAT. 

Every family has their problems whether it's financial, mental, emotional, domestic, alcohol or drug related. I'm very aware. But that doesn't mean it's impossible.. Anything is possible. And these kids need us. 

I wish there was something we could do. I wish that parents would see that, as educators- a CYC- a student, child, sister, human I know and understand what it is like to be in their exact seats an that being-- we just want to be heard and loved. It's exhausting I get it "Can I tell you..." x 20423058403 or "LOOK!" and it's like "K I've looked 65 times and as much as I love you, nothing is really changing." BUT that's being an influence in their life, and hopefully a positive one at that. You're an adult, so come up with a way to let them down easy versus grounding them and yelling. THROW THEM IN THE LAKE! THEY'LL THANK YOU LATER! Trust me, the yelling and hitting, they just pass that on at school. They mimic you. 

If I could go back in time and change the way things happened to me, these are the specific areas: and for the record, I love my parents we're doing just fine now, I'm not "living in the past" merely referencing it

:

Everything you do your child sees. Every word you speak your child takes in. When you fight, I see it and it scares the living hell out of me. I can't understand your words or why they are so loud, but I know it is not good. I only hear of that in the bad books I maybe listen to at school. 

Please, care about my schooling but not the grade. Unless I'm failing miserably, but even then. There is something deeper than just me being inadequate. Don't give up on me, please help me figure this out. 

If you hit me or even push me I will never forget it and I will know it is wrong, but be too afraid to ever say anything. Ever. ( This is more a message to everyone, not just my parents) I will think this is ok, but it's not. Never has been. -- a student came to me today and told me the multitude of times their parent hits them and yes "kids say things," but I have faith in my students when they are talking to me. That's what makes me good at my job. 

Just let me cry and be a kid. Seriously. Just let it happen...Don't tell me to get over it. Don't tell me I'll be fine. Maybe just hug me and be silent.  

We need our parents. We need you, adults. 

Love 

Dorothy