What I'm learning..

When I was younger, say around 16, 17, 18-- I thought the world was out to get me and I never understood "why?". Like many of you, I find myself questioning the news on a daily basis asking "why? is this happening?" "why is our world 'falling apart'" "why did that guy kill another x amount of innocent civilians?" "why does X think the decisions they're making are smart?"

 I am only starting to see now that I have no control over the "why" or "how," it just is. Moreover, that the 20-30% of control that I may have in these situations is either to make it my problem by letting it bother me or consume me, tackle it head on in the best manner I can, or keep on walking.

If you knew me growing up, I found myself largely trying to tackle problems head on, especially those problems that were not mine but, rather a friend's boyfriend's issue, a mean girl-- any and all issues my friends had to save their lives. Slowly but surely I realized that I cannot continue getting myself involved, that going forward if Susie is mad at Bobby for something he did, let Susie take care of it I don't need to beat on Bobby too.

I will admit it is hard separating yourself sometimes, as you want nothing but the best for those around you and you want to make damn sure that they won't get hurt again, or they won't pick the wrong guy who classically looks and feels SO RIGHT!  You see a friends behaviour and it worries you that maybe it's not super healthy every weekend, or the associated party favours have a reached a limit of "when the hell are these guys gonna give it up?" BUT THAT AINT MY PROBLEM! Having said that,  if you know or feel that your friend is in a situation that warrants caution or some intervening then you need to do what you need to do.

Being in the mental health field/ or of service to individuals with those needs, as well as addictive behaviours especially since I'm sober and clear-- I can read into and comprehend a lot more situations than many people recognize or know. This is undoubtedly a blessing and a curse. No one EVER wants to be told "hey, i think you should maybe take it easy when drinking this weekend" or "maybe you shouldn't get yourself involved with people like that," it's like our parents telling us what to do all over. NO THANKS!

But I'd be lying if I said that retrospect has not given me a entirely different perspective of who I was, what I was doing, who I surrounded myself with, how that all looked, and certainly knew how it looked that I knew how to party really well, but still iffy about laundry. I was lazy, uniterested, I couldn't retain information and not because I didn't want to (well, partly I'm sure) but because I didn't have the energy or desire to. These days I feel like I cannot get enough!

Each individual we cross paths with has such an interesting story and if you're really lucky enough, you get to hear that. And you get to hear little lessons and reminders that are irreplaceable

At Grail Springs, there was a workshop entitled the Science of Happiness, and all of the women in this room(about 20) were writing every word down that was being articulated or was on the board in the back. While I didn't have my journal handy this time, I found I was more aware of what we were talking about than unaware. For example: making a list of things you can do to increase the chemicals in our body such as dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, and endorphins! Plan a trip (even if you don't take it!) YOUR PEEPS! AND HOW MUCH THEY MAKE YOU LAUGH! I KNEW THAT THIS WAS CRITICAL! Laughing is the best medicine. We need to try and not take life oh so seriously, as things can be mended, time will heal, and it's never too late. Give yourself a chance and the only way you can do that is by doing things that are completely different and sometimes uncomfortable. But you'll be fine, no matter what! You just have to get there and see for yourself, my messages only go so far.

The universe works in miraculous ways if you're willing to have an open mind, open heart, and have enough knowledge and courage to follow your own vision. As cliche as that may sound, I'm living it. I believe it, therefore I don't need to see it.

This post goes out to my dear friend Thea Brae Holt who was just visiting me: Thank you for being one of my favourite peeps. May we laugh forever and ever <3 xox