March 6th I found out I was pregnant. March 7th I made my way to planned parent hood, spoke about my options, and chose the abortion. I was called that night and told my appointment had been booked for March 26 at 9 am in the morning and to be there 2 hours prior.
I struggle with that day quite often though I feel so much happier with where I am in my life. Not drinking has undoubtedly cleared the persistence of guilt I had concerning my decision, but it never leaves you. Especially when it still feels like it "didn't" happen. I know it happened. I'm all too aware as to every minute of that morning, but it all happened so quickly. And while I'm venting, you know what I find frustrating? No one speaks about it!! Sure it's not the most pleasant of conversations but that's life. Every day we are faced with adverse situations that are far from pleasant, but an abortion? "That's messed up" -I overheard someone once say. That's not fair. I didn't ask for this, sir. But it has made me into the strong person I am today.
Yet, I recently came across an article where a young woman who also felt as though no one speaks up about the actual experience itself, and so she shared her story. Not the before or the after, but during. It undoubtedly brought some peace of mind, and I wish I could shake her hand thanking her for stepping out of the box and speaking about such a personal, yet real, struggling time in her life. Thank you, author.
But here I am today! 2 years later and I'm doing well, better than I would have assumed 2 years ago. I no longer feel the shame or the guilt, but from time to time I still feel some despair and to be honest, I don't think that ever goes away.
A more serious thought from Dorothy..
Happy Tuesday, fellow readers!
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