When we make change, it is so easy to interpret our unsettledness as unhappiness, an our unhappiness as a result of making the wrong decision (or in my case-a challenging, yet beatable, decision). The hard days/evenings come and go, especially when I wake up to a dark sky. But the days where I could "tight-rope to manhattan," I really, truly think I could do it. It's euphoric! But then there are the days where, never mind brushing my teeth, I barely want to move from my bed to my couch! But I'm ok with that.
Why? Because on my good days, I am unstoppable. Duh! In recent weeks the "weary" days are rather marginal compared to my "Saving The World Days". Think of that song by Chumbawamba, Tubthumping where it goes "I get knocked down, but I get up again, You're never gonna keep me down!" (note: minus the part directly after "pissing the night away..i make a whisky drink, i make a vodka drink, i make a..etc." makes me laugh though!)
Nonetheless, I need to remember-I'm only human. I need my own time to just be- just be me, and do me. (aka splurge on a Caramel brownie cheese cake from Zehr's- dammit!) Tonight, however, I am lighting a trillion candles, slicing some 0 calorie cake, and watching my new fav tv show- mom.
Love, the girl in her flannel pjs. (thanks mom!)
No comments:
Post a Comment