Dorothy Rennie
Bianca Rus
Monday, December 15, 2014
Major Essay
Depressive and anxious
symptoms are like a cancer of the mind. Both invade our bodies and minds, expanding
their reach and control over thoughts and actions. In fact, studies have shown
that some physicians believe that anxiety is a condition for cancer, that is,
it prepares the person for cancer cells to run rampant and multiply
(Kirkpatrick, 1975). And studies have shown that women experience more anxiety
than men because of their life situations. Often buried are the feelings, dreams,
and hopes they once had for themselves having been replaced by other traditional
feelings for a husband and family. Women have typically been cast into roles
that have created situations in which anxiety comes to the fore because of
conflicting feelings. Women often depend upon others for security; consistently
try to please; attempt to avoid arguments for the sake of family peace; try to
maintain harmony at all costs, even to the extent of emotional self-harm; are
quick to assume blame; feel guilty when the self is prioritized above the
family; and meet their own needs covertly, producing more guilt (Kirkpatrick, 1975).
I will attempt to structure
my paper around lost continuities of popular culture and the remarkable
advancements produced in the stretch of time between now and the key formative
moment for my thought, the millennium (Mulvey, 2000). I will examine the
remarkable advancements of contemporary popular culture in contradiction of the
inherent “culture of fatherhood in the fifties” (LaRossa, 2004). Operating on
the assumptions of first and second wave feminist thinkers, such as Jennifer
Baumgardner and Amy Richards, Joanne Hollows, Sut Jhally, and Laura Mulvey, and the
exploration of my own personal testimony, I will argue how the strain of
fatherhood shaped, constrained, and determined young girls and young women’s
identity politics and subjective view towards social relations and public
institutions.
More specifically, I
will examine how conventional popular culture produced through male dominant
discourse is representative of third-wave feminists’ thought through young
women’s individual identities, inherent to social relations of power and morality.
Through critical analysis of various representations this paper will argue the intersectionality
of appropriation of gender roles, as well as mental, emotional cognitive (dis)abilities
and bodily disease. I will conclude by emphasizing the critical need for every
day feminist thought and action through mediums that channel educational
initiatives such as We Day globally, and annually.
In October of 2000, Baumgardner and Richards published their
first co-authored book, which spoke
directly to young third wave feminists. The book’s content sought to inspire
women of the current generation, such as myself, to consciously embrace the
liberation of today while remembering the work of previous feminist
generations, writing:
“Consciousness among women is what caused this
[change], and consciousness, one's ability to open their (sic) mind to the fact
that male domination does affect the women of our generation, is what we
need... The presence of feminism in our lives is taken for granted. For our
generation, feminism is like fluoride. We scarcely notice we have it—it's
simply in the water.”
I
consciously and whole-heartedly embrace the liberation I have access to today,
not only because I am a female, but also because I am a twenty-three year old
female who suffers from major depressive disorder, anxiety, as well as
attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. In addition, within that past 6
months I am sober from alcohol after attempting to take my life not once, but
twice. While the strains of both my
cognitive and mental sets seem impossible at times to endure, I have found that
the strength in sharing my story through a variety of available channels, such
as my personal blog, with expressive words, personal achievement stories, and self-help
methods to aid social interactions and comprehension of new age realities.
Throughout my journey, I am often misunderstood or unacknowledged by both
myself as well as those relationships closest to me. Yet, I have come to
appreciate and understand that death, oddly, is one of the best inventions in
avoiding the trap of thinking you have something to lose; in the face of death,
which I have now encountered four times directly, “everything disappears— all
fear of failure, shame, guilt, embarrassment— they all fall away leaving only
what is important, the courage to follow my own inner voice and heart” (Jobs,
2005).
The quote recited in the
previous paragraph reflects only a few of the words I heard during a time where
I felt as though my issues would never be solved. For example, how on earth would I be able to
manage completing this post-secondary education that frankly I never wanted in
the first place. I initially chose fashion as my direction, but my father declared,
“you cannot go to college until you get accepted into university first,” which
I had not yet applied to being so unsure of what I wanted. In addition, I have
a faint memory of my father also saying to me “you need to find a husband that
can afford your lifestyle,” as presumably I was incapable of doing so myself.
As negative as that sounds, it gets worse, as just this year I decided I needed
to move into my own living space for my own well-being wherein my father got
into a dispute with my mother claiming that “[Colleen] is the way she is
because of you [mother],” in reference to the way he perceives both my mother
and I; “our money” is my father’s money—there is no difference. Upon hearing
this news, I was absolutely devastated because for a great deal of my teenage
years extending into my university career, his power—both found in his finances
and masculinity—forced me to become an adult child of an alcoholic. When I say
force, I am referring to the fact that he did make it readily deceptive that my
“mother needs” me in order to heal. I was positioned as the saviour, prior to
being saved myself. Other than my
father, I was the primary source of aid when he would depart on business trips,
social events, and all other business related affairs that were all too time
consuming for us both. Rather than living freely like the teenage girls around
me, I lived with the weight of what felt like being a mere representative of
the families name, therefore anything I did I felt the need for external
approval to feel good about my actions or accomplishments, especially in the
face of my father. Yet, I was too young to comprehend that in hindsight I was
doing exactly what I needed to do all along, which was being my authentic self
and listening to my gut. When my dad offered my mom another glass, I said no;
when he told me my mother was sick with breast cancer in the driveway as
opposed to being inside, he said that my mom felt enough grief as it is and to
try to not get emotional when I see her. Imagine receiving a phone call of
which the majority took the form of “your mother’s unwell” due to the disease
of alcoholism; then driving home angry the entire time because of how unfair it
all felt only to find out she had cancer. Moreover, between her alcoholism and
cancer he would “really appreciate it” if we kept our family matters within the
home.
The controversy surrounding socialization is “so hard to
‘decode,’” as Sut Jhally remarks, because as a society we are immersed into
inherit social norms as a result of “social constructions”—that is, the
inherently socialized customs from generations before us and appropriating the
culture we were raised in as “natural” (Jhally, 2009). Accordingly,
we make spontaneous judgments and interferences about others without awareness,
intention, or effort on a day-to-day basis (Uleman, Saribay, & Gonzalez,
2007).
In discussion of how prejudicial attitudes are formed or
preserved, recent studies suggest that these attitudes are more often than not
an attitude that has been handed down as a “legacy” from observing their
parents and learning certain social interactions (Killen, Richardson, &
Kelly, 2010). These “legacies,” for example, are shaped through the context,
and content, of expressions such as “let it go.” In other words, behave
according to their cultural heritage—shared customs, values, beliefs, behaviours,
and public institutions such as marriage and education, all of which are
transmitted socially across generations, with the exception of the strain of
patriarchal fatherhood post WWII. Ultimately, the colonial and imperialist legacies
permeated society during this era, but today there are more egalitarian forces
at work.
Second Wave feminism in the 1970s altered the the
common stereotypical representations of housewives in advertisements, in which the
depiction of moms as the primary caretakers of the home and family continue to
be reproduced. As Ralph LaRossa argues, “The culture of fatherhood in postwar America was
neither a simple continuation of previous patterns nor a more progressive
version of what had come before, but rather was a more traditional strain of
patriarchal fatherhood.” (LaRossa, 2004) And in my experience, I could not
agree more as my father is a descendant born of British and Scottish heritage,
and consequently epitomizes the characteristics of the strain of patriarchal
fatherhood. For instance, according to Spock in 1946, fathers could still be
“warm… and a real man” in context of childcare, by modifying their efforts in not
giving “just as many” bottles and diaper changes to babies--“He might make the
formula on Sunday”. If that is what constitutes as a “real man”—modifying one’s
role to say, simply making formula on Sundays or generally limited to weekends,
as presumably men are preoccupied during the week with their jobs—then would it
not be fair to assert that women are therefore twice, if not three times more
“real,” or logical than any man, especially their husband? Unfortunately,
Spock’s biased male discourse did not reference females at all with the
exception of using “her,” in reference to the mother being the mother or
primary caretaker.
By challenging existing
notions of the central ideology to second-wave feminism, “the personal is
political,” where the political is seen as what defines all relations,
particularly those within the “private” realm of the family, and the “public”
realm of social relationships– What appeared to be individual, private problems
that women endured in isolation were common problems experienced by the female
gender as whole – feminist thinkers in the 1970s made a promise and commitment
in not only consciousness-raising as a group, but disseminating acknowledgment
that women had special needs that must be met in order to overcome inherent
struggling experiences that are inherent to one’s authentic self. As Hollow’s
suggested, to be involved in women’s social movements in the 1960s and the 1970s,
“was for many women to engage in a new vital practice.” This is exactly what
Dr. Jean Kirkpatrick, founder of “Women For Sobriety” did in using her
instinctive knowledge, and personal experience of being an alcoholic, and
asserting that female alcoholics had special needs which must be met in order
to overcome their alcoholism and have “lasting sobriety.” The significance of the representation of
“personal is political,” was the fact that it provided insight to a global
audience of women, both historically and contemporarily, who throughout their
lives have both witnessed and experienced the imperial gaze.
The community of girls and young women today have the
capacity, ability, and accessibility to use our voices as a
social force of representation in the fight against gender inequality. We need
to share these stories through both words and our voices, as the unsettling
tragedy and reality of voices unheard facilitates the continuation of
psychological disorders and substance abuse.
The “male gaze” and the
“imperial gaze” cannot be separated in Western patriarchal cultures, as musical
and visual entertainment has played an important role in shaping popular
opinion about how we as individuals and collective bodies perceive social relations. Accordingly, modern
day popular culture approaches are remarkable contrary to efforts made during
the 1950s, 60s and 70s when considering the advancements in imagery, language,
and technology as a force and influence in our daily interactions. The
dissemination of social movements reproduces representative messages, which
asserts the critical need for similarity and solidarity in contradiction of
gender inequality. Mainstream mediums including, but not limited to, radio,
social media, television, or YouTube are strong forces contemporarily that
reach audiences far and wide. In addition, by simultaneously reversing the
dysfunctional maintenance of the “male gaze,” through modern approaches of
social movements such as “HeForShe,” equalizing gender or “Everyday Feminism,” feminist
efforts ultimately heighten and reinforce the essential nature of feminism in
this sociocultural context.
Demi Lovato, Jennifer
Hudson, Nelly Furtado, Malala Yousafzai, Kofi Annan, and Dr. Jane Goodall are
only a few of the endless number of public voices and contributors of “We Day.”
Their personal stories or experiences embody real life heroes for both younger
and older generations both locally and globally by reversing and challenging
the private and public realms of life. Using their combined forces in effort to fundamentally
change and improve the way girls and boys, women and men, understand and view
social relationships both locally and globally. Their efforts, specifically,
are aimed in diminishing modern day prejudice that is often below societies
level of awareness. For instance, with the emergence of public social media
interactions, the new phenomena of cyber bullying on websites such as Facebook
or Instagram, insentiently attacking young girls and women for the way they
dress, colour their hair, the music they listen to, the politics in which we
believe in more often than not unknowingly; it is all contested, and too often
results in a blow to their self-esteem, image, identity, and how they perceive
the world—a cruel, harsh place. Today, every aspect of our lives are publicly
broadcasted, and it important to call upon those iconic celebrities who have
endured harsh negativity to expose the reality of cyber bullying and the risk
of the threat of online personas. Furthermore,
they can set an example for others by strengthening their public image despite
the negativity experienced.
Although these heroes
are “rich and famous,” they all have a story to tell with a battle that has
been, or is continuing to be, conquered in this harsh world. For instance, Demi
Lovato opens the floor discussion concerning the prevalent issue of bullying,
and firmly announces, “I know that there is someone out here in the audience
who is being bullied. And I know they need someone to look up to,” and she
could not have been more accurate.
Many researchers argue
that globalization connects and stratifies peoples around the world, while at
the same time intensifying the awareness of the world as a single space
(Robertson, 1992). Public figures in today’s society have more than ever
before come to the realization that social and political change on a global
scale, be it social consumerism or the shaping of today’s political identities,
is critical for the hope of a better tomorrow.
Most significant to
this paper are the advancements offered by popular musicians, specific to
prejudicial discourse of gender (dis)abilities, which takes the form of a
mediums that effectively channel individuals across the globe through the
source of lyrical thought. The first song I ever related to was Perfect by Simple plan:
“Hey dad look at me/
Think back and talk to me/ Did I grow up according to plan/ And do you think
I’m wasting my time doing things I wanna do/ But it hurts when you disapprove all
along/And now I try hard to make it/ I just want to make you proud/ I’m never
gonna be good enough for you/Can’t pretend that I’m alright…I’m sorry I can’t
be perfect.”
By sharing personal matters through public lyrical
thought, young girls and women are provided with a source of connectedness that personifies
a great deal of commonalities which we experience in terms of psychosocial
disabilities or normalizing controversial topics of interest such as anti-bullying,
depression, substance abuse, which more often than not are direct leads to
suicide ideation and attempt. As
Henriksson and his co-authors noted,
“These case studies revealed
that in 93 percent of suicides, the victim suffered from a significant
psychological disorder. The most common diagnoses, by a large margin, were
depression and alcohol dependence.”
Alicia Moore—also known as P!ink, an
alternative punk rock singer—and Dallas Green released their first
collaborative album, produced by their label “you & me.” Although
simplistic, this form of entertainment is undoubtedly effective in reversing or
eliminating inherent social relations of power, particularly those through the
lens of the male gaze through their diminishing of social order—whose name
comes first in production order and situations of credibility mean little to
nothing when singing for a higher purpose. Moreover, their lyrical thought
takes the form of a channel utilized as music therapy, which in my eyes has
been my saving grace. Green, prior to becoming internationally known by his
self-produced album called Sometimes, which
looking back now I can identify as my source of critical thought and action. In high school Green’s lyrics eased the
comprehension of the many emotions and feelings I experienced while in a
constant state of overwhelming insecurity and uncertainty. Green’s relativity
discussed through lyrical thought brought a sense of calmness, but more
importantly, normalcy. I needed to know that what I was feeling was natural,
and my parents at that time were unable to provide me with the answers, or
unfortunately, a sense of understanding.
Ironically, just this year contemporary musician
Anthony Green who, similar to Dallas Green’s musical genre style, produced two
songs solely dedicated to suicide prevention. Moreover, with each copy sold,
all proceeds would be donated to the American Association of Suicide
Prevention, a prevention strategy that has been established in all G8
countries, except Canada.
In my concluding years of high school I really began to
understand the harsh realities of the world, but without Green’s lyrical
thought, I may have never acknowledged my feelings. Consequently, I was relied
on in more ways than just aiding my mother’s disease through emotional and
physical support. Simply put, my “first
love” cheated on me and broke my heart, and during this time my mother’s
drinking habit and loneliness, unhappiness, and anguish was heavily prevalent. Often
times, I would find myself sitting in my room alone crying, listening to my
parents fight back and forth, which often led to one of them stomping down to
my bedroom to take whatever frustration they had left out on me. My dad in
particular was notorious for doing so but not so much my mom, until she consumed
alcohol wherein she would make devastating remarks such as “would you get over
it already? Clearly he has!” But most devastating of all was the physical
abuse. Granted, she would never punch me square in the face, but the couple times
she did throw a hit, it was more of a blow to my heart than anything else. I
wish I could say that escaping to university was the best decision I ever made,
but that would be a lie. My years at university have taken quite the toll on my
mental and physical health, however, nothing I have not been able to overcome.
Which is where I conclude with my last story.
The depth of my
analysis, particularly in reference to my own personal testimony, although
difficult to relive, manifests now as textbook knowledge. But in reality, it
has provided me with an odd sense of hope, as I strongly believe that today’s
young girls and women will achieve indisputable equality in every facet of
society; so long as missions continue to commit to the extraordinarily advanced
techniques proposed in popular culture in equalizing social relations of power
and gender. This is chiefly executed through
the ideals of sisterhood—affirming similarity and solidarity of all women— and
brotherhood combined. The diminishing of patriarchy and capitalism, though a
pipe dream, has the potential to decrease social consumerism ultimately erasing
conventional customs of private and public sectors of life. Both of which are fundamental
to all young girls and boys, young women and men, and adults.
The moral justification
of capitalism is an inferior consequence due to the altruistic
claims—capitalism represents the best way to achieve the “common good.” The moral justification of capitalism lies in
the fact that it is the only system consistent with man’s rational nature, that
it protects man’s survival. Maybe so, but I respectfully disagree.
The necessity of
conquering previous gender socialization constructs— built on
appropriations and assumptions of traditional strains of patriarchal fatherhood
customs— white privileged males
born in the fifties have frequently conditioned female relatives, such as their
wife or daughter, to represent their cognitive frames and social positions in
order to achieve equality, acceptance, and often times, compassion.
No longer are the days
where young girls are trapped by dogma—which is living with the results of
others’ thinking and the noise of others' opinions who drown out
their own inner voice. As Steve Jobs
said in his speech address to Stanford University, “most important, have the
courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you
truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” Despite the various
setbacks in my life, I have, finally, come to see that I have emerged wiser and
stronger in conquering the struggles that coincide with ADHD, depression,
alcoholism in the family, and death through my firm belief in the very idea
that “the personal is political” (Hollows, 2000). I never want a young girl, or
a young boy, to have to go through what I did with arguably little guidance in
managing my feelings. Rather, I was forced to become the adult child of an
alcoholic mother and a workaholic father. This example demonstrates a key
source of oppression which is “therefore political,” as I firmly believe that
end to women’s oppression will truly come through not only radical reform and
transformation, but as feminist thinkers in the U.K. sought, the tackling of
both patriarchy and capitalism. (Hollows, 2000). As a collective society, we must
jettison the notion that the discourse of feminist thought is a lifestyle, as
it is undoubtedly a social and political movement that demonstrates a
kaleidoscope of authentic truths critical to our every day lives.
Situations in a family
setting are frequently the sole cause of anxiety felt by women. The continuous
guilt, shame, blame, and loneliness I felt personally in lieu of my mother’s
drinking habits and cancer hit me like a brick. In March of 2013 I was faced with
yet another test but this time I was directly involved, as I found out I was
pregnant with my boyfriend, who at the time, lived out in Halifax which meant
that I had to find the strength within me to make a decision alone. In
hindsight between then and now, I know I made the right choice—which was having
an abortion three weeks after finding out. Like many young women who have found
themselves in a difficult situation like this, I was never given any guidelines
to follow, and I could not face the very idea of breaking this news to my
parents. Within time, however, prior to the procedure I told my mom, as she was
newly sober and I could not do it alone anymore. And a year later I told my
dad, and have yet to forget the look in his eyes in recognition of not being
there for his “baby girl.”
I cannot imagine living
in a world where I had no choice in the matter, or if I did, I would be shunned
for it. And in opposition to “pro-life” thinkers, the decision I made in
terminating my pregnancy was the best decision I ever made, as my gut knew I
was not fit financially, psychologically, let alone intellectually, and I had
to face adversity to find my inner voice and strength.
Most notably, however,
I cannot imagine a world without my mother. Both faced with disease and
psychological distress, we, in separate time frames, had to find a new way to
remake and redefine ourselves to take back our identity; we got slightly lost
on our journey, but thanks to our solidarity we found our way; or as an
admirable female alcoholic once said “our corner of shame, a corner which you
have not produced enough shame to be apart of ”. Nevertheless, in becoming sober my mother was
forced to face the reality of her cancer, and similarly, I currently find
myself forced to face the reality of my mental illnesses as I have sought new
resources. I was given a second chance—adversely in attempt to end my life— a
second chance to spread awareness and education in benefit of others, consistent
with the foundations built by Baumgardner and Richards.
Works Cited
Baumgardner, Jennifer, and Amy Richards. “A Day Without
Feminism.” Manifesta:
Young Women, Feminism, and the Future. New York: Farrar, Straus and Giroux,
2000. 3-9. Print.
Young Women, Feminism, and the Future. New York: Farrar, Straus and Giroux,
2000. 3-9. Print.
Hollows, Joanne. “Second Wave Feminism and Feminity.” Feminism, Feminity, and
Popular Culture. Manchester: Manchester University Press. 2000. Pp. 2-18.
Popular Culture. Manchester: Manchester University Press. 2000. Pp. 2-18.
Hsu, Jennifer Chung-kue. "Selling American Beauty
to Teen Girls: A Content Analysis
of Female Celebrity Advertisements in Seventeen." Advertising & Society
Review14.2 (2013).
of Female Celebrity Advertisements in Seventeen." Advertising & Society
Review14.2 (2013).
Kirkpatrick, Jean. “Profile of Jean Kirkpatrick” Women For Sobriety, Inc.
LaRossa, Ralph. "The Culture of Fatherhood in the
Fifties: A Closer Look." Journal of
Family History 29.1 (2004): 47-70. Web. 14 Dec. 2014
Family History 29.1 (2004): 47-70. Web. 14 Dec. 2014
Mulvey,
Laura. “Looking at the Past from the Present: Rethinking Feminist Film Theory
of the 1970s.” Signs. 2004.
of the 1970s.” Signs. 2004.
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